Between raising children, building careers, supporting partners and showing up for family and friends, women’s own needs can slip easily to the bottom of the list.
Then, somewhere along the way, sticky questions emerge: What makes me happy? What do I want for myself? And what does the next chapter of my life look like?
These were some of the questions hanging in the air as 20 women gathered at Ridge Cabin Resort, about an hour from Nairobi, for a wellness retreat designed for women aged between 50 and 65.
Seated around tables arranged in a U-shape, the women listened intently as one of the speakers shared her story. Every so often, a murmur of agreement travelled around the room. One woman nodded, another smiled, while someone else hummed softly in recognition.
It was clear that, beyond the words being spoken, the women were finding pieces of their own experiences in one another’s stories.
The gathering was the first session of a wellness retreat organised by Anne Mungai, 56-year-old co-founder of Voices of the Heart Africa.
She says the idea was born from a simple realisation: women need spaces where they can step away from their everyday responsibilities, reconnect with themselves and enjoy the company of others who understand the season of life they are navigating.
“As women in this stage of life, we give so much to our families, children, careers, and the people around us, that we sometimes forget to ask ourselves, ‘How am I doing? What do I need? What makes me happy?’”
“This event was born from that thought. I wanted to create a space where women in this age bracket could come together and laugh, learn, reflect, heal, connect, get inspired, and simply enjoy being a woman without being judged or having to have everything figured out,” she says.
An events professional and entrepreneur, Anne has spent years creating experiences that bring women together. She was also behind an initiative dubbed Sister to Sister, which, like this retreat, was built around giving women a space to connect and share their experiences.
“You can see it from all the chamas we have,” she says. “Even women who are usually quiet, if you give them space, they really talk and express themselves.”
But bringing women together is only one part of the equation. For women in their 50s and 60s, the idea of wellness takes on a different meaning from what it was in their 20s or 30s.
“Wellness changes through different seasons of life, but the need for wellness never changes,” Anne says.
“In our 20s and 30s, wellness can be about building healthy habits, finding one’s identity, establishing a career, navigating relationships and raising young children, all while trying not to lose oneself in the process.”
Rediscovering identity, purpose
By the 40s, the questions can begin to shift. Children may be growing up, careers and relationships may be changing, and women may find themselves paying closer attention to their health, emotional wellbeing and sense of purpose.
Then come the 50s and 60s. For some women, this means navigating menopause or post-menopause and the physical and emotional changes that come with it. For others, it can mean adjusting to children becoming independent, caring for ageing parents, contemplating retirement or simply asking what they want for themselves in the next chapter.
There is also the less visible work of processing the loss of parents, partners, friendships and even earlier versions of themselves. At this stage, Anne says, wellness becomes more intentional, often revolving around rediscovering identity and purpose.
With this in mind, the programme combined talks on reinventing one’s journey, embracing age and experience, and navigating addiction in the family with opportunities for the women to bond and unwind.
For Anne, it comes down to the value of the experience.
“Women are more likely to invest when a retreat is meaningful, thoughtfully planned and offers genuine opportunities to connect, recharge and grow,” she says.
Different kind of companionship
For Margaret Ndungu, an HR manager and consultant, the retreat offered an opportunity to meet women navigating similar transitions and learn from those already figuring out life beyond corporate careers.
“At this point in my life, I find myself thinking a great deal about the next phase of my journey,” she says.
“I’m considering taking a short course on coaching to help me prepare for retirement and exploring different ways of remaining active and engaged afterwards.”
But what comes next career-wise is a small part of what wellness means for Margaret. For her, it’s about finding balance across the physical, social, emotional, mental, and spiritual aspects of her life, something she has become increasingly intentional about.
“Wellness is no longer something I take for granted. I pay close attention to exercise, nutrition, and self-care in ways I never did in my 20s and 30s,” she says.
“I actively invest in experiences that support my well-being, and travel is a big one for me. I used to travel a lot with my children, but they are now grown.”
With her children now having their own priorities, Margaret has found a different kind of companionship travelling with her girlfriends, both locally and internationally. The trips have become an annual tradition that has stood for more than a decade.
“These experiences give me immense joy and allow me to relax, laugh, dance, have meaningful conversations, and even discuss investment opportunities,” she says. “We had planned a cruise this year, but I postponed it to focus on a memorable family trip as I celebrated a milestone birthday. I already have exciting travel plans for the coming year.”
She also spends at least three days a week at the gym and hopes to resume playing golf after taking a short break. Additionally, she serves on the leadership team in her church, which she says gives her a strong sense of purpose and fulfillment.
Earlier in the year, Margaret also spent a few hours at Serenity Spa reflecting, recharging and revisiting her vision board for the next few years. It was a brief break, but one she found worthwhile. Looking back, she says, she has already ticked off several goals that emerged from those reflections.
Yet, even with these wellness practices already part of her life, Margaret says the retreat marked the beginning of a new chapter. She met women with unique experiences and valuable perspectives, formed new friendships, and came away with reflections that she could probably fill a notebook.
“It was truly an eye-opener,” she says. “Women have a wealth of knowledge, experiences, and ideas to share.”
One of her most powerful takeaways was learning how to reinvent herself and embrace her “patina” – the wisdom and value accumulated through lived experience. Rather than diminish a woman’s worth, she learnt that age and the journey that comes with it can add to it.
“I was particularly inspired by the idea that my experience is not baggage, it is wisdom and intelligence,” she says. “I also appreciated the reminder to focus on gratitude, document the things I am thankful for, and intentionally create opportunities for fun and self-celebration.”
Margaret says she would gladly attend another retreat and encourage her friends to join her. And this is exactly the kind of word-of-mouth support Anne hopes will help grow the gatherings into a recurring series.
Margaret, however, is not the only one who left wanting more. Selina Nyambok- Conteh, another participant, also found something worth taking home.
“My best friend, Cathy, told me about the event and we thought it would be a lovely weekend getaway,” says the 60-year-old administrator. “The idea of pausing with other women as well was hard to resist.”
As her children become more independent and her relationship with them evolves, Selina, too, has begun to think differently about wellness. In her 20s and 30s, she says, she didn’t give it much thought, preferring to go out and enjoy life. Today, she is more conscious of the need to care for her emotional, mental and physical well-being, and to make time for herself.
“Now I understand that true wellness requires intention and begins from within,” she says. “I spent many years caring for others, and this season is about recharging.”
A spa day she treated herself to for her birthday a few months ago is one example of the small steps she is taking toward investing in her wellbeing. The retreat is another. For her, the value of such experiences lies in how she feels afterwards.
“An experience is worth paying for when I leave feeling restored and connected,” she says.
For Selina, the opportunity to connect with other women was a significant part of the retreat’s appeal.
“I think friendships and time spent with other women are very important at this stage of life because we understand, support, and uplift one another in a way that is hard to find elsewhere,” she says.
“I gained a lot of perspective from women facing very different situations in their lives. Listening to their stories reminded me that we are never alone in our journeys, and I left feeling refreshed and encouraged.”
When asked whether there are enough spaces in Kenya where women her age can gather, relax and talk, she says, “Not that I know of. But that is what I enjoyed most about this retreat. It gave us space to simply be together.”
