Kindly support us without demanding sex! This is the message from widows in Kabondo Kasipul Constituency. Their plea sheds light on a disturbing trend in which some men exploit widows’ vulnerability for their own gratification.

The death of a husband often leaves women in a precarious position, both emotionally and economically. This is particularly acute for young widows whose marriages were still new and who had depended on their parents before marrying.

In many families, societal norms position the husband as the sole breadwinner, and his passing creates a vacuum that is heavily felt. Widows are left to bear the responsibility of supporting their children and managing household affairs, often with little guidance or assistance.

Millicent Mboya, the chairperson of widows in Kodumo West Sub-location, says some men use material support as a means to coerce widows into sexual relationships.

Speaking during a gathering where well-wisher John Odek was constructing a  house for Erca Adhiambo, a widow who previously lived in a dilapidated home, Mboya urged men to support widows without ylterior intentions. 

“Many men are kind and generous, but some demand that widows repay their help with their bodies. This is immoral and should stop,” Mboya said.

She explained that women face multiple challenges following the death of their spouses. Social respect often dissipates, while family and friends who were close during the husband’s life sometimes distance themselves. In some cases, widows are even deprived of property to which they are entitled.

“Widows endure significant hardship. People who once respected us begin to disregard us, and some close family friends desert us entirely,” she said.

Mboya added that men can be an important source of support, but it must be given without ulterior motives.

“We need men’s support, and most are indeed helpful. However, those who take advantage of widows’ vulnerability should change their ways and act responsibly,” she added.

Adhiambo, a mother of six, testified to the difference that well-wishers can make. She recounted living in a dangerously dilapidated house, where she and her children were exposed to weather elements and daily hazards. Her home was finally rebuilt with the help of  Odek, a director at the National Museums of Kenya, who took it upon himself to improve her living conditions.

“My life and the lives of my children were at risk. The house was leaking badly, and we had to shelter in corners when it rained. Today, thanks to Mr Odek, we live in safety and comfort,” she said. 

Despite this support, Adhiambo said ongoing challenges, particularly the lack of school fees for her children.

“Life as a widow is full of challenges. My daughter is  joining Grade Ten, and we still need her fees. I appeal to well-wishers to help,” she said.